


Doin’ the ‘Ol Hoover Maneuver

by Saplings



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Alien Biology, Oral Sex, Other, alcohol is involved, mako is gay, ship is empty, whatever could we do!, “Idk how to characterize so I guess theyre drunk” special!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 21:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saplings/pseuds/Saplings
Summary: “Of course I’ve never had a blowjob before! Apostolisians have 3 rows of serrated teeth! Are you insane?”Or: Cass gets their first blowjob





	Doin’ the ‘Ol Hoover Maneuver

**Author's Note:**

> Title related to the original idea for this fic being “how many times can I get Mako to call blowjobs increasingly absurd things”

“Of course Ive never had a blowjob before! Apostolisians have three rows of serrated teeth! Are you insane?” blurted the mildly offended once heir to the Apostalisian throne. A half blush crept up their face as they jerked their eyes away from Mako, scandalized. Mako burst out a laugh into the dining room, echoing off the metal walls of the otherwise empty Kingdom Come. He grabbed at the expensive Keshuvian wine bottle the two had been passing between them for some time and took a swig.

“Listen! Listen listen listen-“ Mako grinned wide at Cassander’s reluctant return to eye contact. “Thats insannnnne that you’ve never had a blowie. For us-“ he made an exaggerated gesture to himself, as if to emphasize his humanity “-thats where we start out! Its practically first base!” He threw his hands up in the air. Cass reached for the wine and downed another mouthful. Their gills flared a little, either at the intensity of the flavor or the subject of conversation.

“Okay, you don’t seem to understand Mako, c’mere, c’mere.” They gestured over to themself and Mako moved over from where he sat opposite from them in his shitty folding chair at the dining table to stand in front of Cass, who pulled up another shitty metal chair (with a frankly obnoxious grinding noise of metal on metal) for him right next to theirs. Mako plopped into it as Cass continued explaining. They hooked a finger into the corner of their lips and pulled to show off their teeth in a faux snarl that made Mako break out into another bout of laughter, contagious enough to bring Cass into it too.

“Okay, fine they’re sharp and there’s a lot of them but thats not so bad! I’d brave those waters for a good-“ he opened his mouth into an “o” shape and pumped his hand in front of him “-piston job any day.”

Cassander rolled their eyes dramatically. “Look,” they mumbled and scooted their chair closer to Mako’s. “You don’t get it yet, look at this.” They hooked the finger into their cheek again and opened wide, distorting their voice. “Vish ish vhy vwe von’t vo vat” and let their long, blue tongue loll out of their open mouth. Mako stared in with curiosity. Sure enough, there were three rows of incredibly sharp, shark like teeth. The first row was the tallest, with the other two descending farther into their gums so that they just peeked out from the pink flesh. Only the first row was visible unless you were at this angle, and Mako couldn’t help but cringe at the thought of putting the most valuable part of his body into that mouth. Cass saw the recoil and quirked their eyebrows in an “I told you so.” Mako readjusted to sitting on their heels in the chair, still staring. The teeth were incredibly sharp looking, and were so white they gleamed even in the dim lights of their shitty vessel. His hand twitched at his side. “Can I touch ‘em?” he ventured with an already rising hand. Cass gave a nod and moved their tongue to the side as much as they could. Mako ever so lightly touched his finger to a single tooth and jerked back quickly at the prick of the tooth. “Owww!” he pouted at the tiny mark on his skin, gripping at his finger and watching a tiny droplet of blood well up.

Cass removed the finger from their cheek and not-so-elegantly sucked the drool back into their mouth while readjusting their jaw. “Oh, shit!” They gasped, grabbing for Mako’s injured finger. They brought it to their face and examined it with squinted eyes. “This is bad. Apostolisian teeth secrete a venom that interacts with blood to reduce clotting factors thought the entire bloodstream.” Their eyes jerked up to Mako’s, who’s brows were furrowed in concern but his gaze was unfocused due to the alcohol in his system.

“Wait, what?!” Mako blurted, worry growing to cover his entire face. His eyes jerked back and forth from finger to Cass, not sure of where to settle. “What do I do what do I do!?” He squirmed in his seat as Cassander spoke again, this time in a grave tone.

“Im afraid-“ the composure of their serious frown broke as the corner of their lip quirked up and they let mirth escape into their eyes. “-amputation is the only option.” By the last word they were obviously struggling to reign in their laughter and Mako yelled at them.

“You total asshole!!” he shoved half heartedly at Cass’ chest, heaving from the force of their laughter. “You really had me going there! Oh my god you total dick!” He kept going, but of course Mako was laughing along with them. He’d been had and there was nothing he could do to escape that fact, however offended he tried to feign.

The two were leaning on each other for support, sides aching from the sheer force of their joy. Cass couldn’t stop grinning, reaching again for the wine bottle on the table. “Whatever they put in this shit must be good,” they took a swig before handing it off to Mako’s grabby hands. When he was done he placed it back on the table, still chuckling lightly and smiling wide. He sighed and readjusted his entire body into a more comfortable position, squirming and moving his chair until his head was resting in Cass’ lap and his feet and ass were resting on his chair, arms dangling by his side.

They settled into a comfortable silence for a while, just passing the bottle whenever the other called for it until it was empty. 

It was Mako who finished it off finally, peering into the neck of the upturned bottle with one eye to make sure it was actually empty. He fiddled with it in the silence, peeling off the paper label, but soon got bored and moved on to taking the neck into his mouth and trying to balance it between his teeth with little luck. Cass simply watched from above with a soft smile of amusement that would never have shown itself if not for the half bottle of wine in their bloodstream. 

The bottle slipped from Mako’s lips and crashed onto the floor below with a clatter, but not shattering much to the relief of the inhabitants of the room. Cass snorted from above and Mako stared indignantly, but unable to keep the blush from his face. He glared daggers into Cass until the two dissolved into a giggle fit again.

Another few minutes passed of Mako twiddling his thumbs and fidgeting with whatever he could find from his position in Cass’ lap. Cass seemed pleased enough with the current situation, or lost enough in their own thoughts that they weren’t complaining. Mako, meanwhile, was bored out of his skull. 

He gasped as soon the idea graced his mind and he jolted up so quickly from Cass’ lap that they startled. “Okay!” he clapped, wide eyed gaze piercing Cass’ yellow eyes. “Here’s where I’m at right now, you tell me if I start to go wrong.” Cass quirked an eyebrow but said nothing otherwise. “So. I’m like. Bored as helllll right now, right?”

“Uh, sure?” Cass ventured in response, still cautious but more confused than anything

“Yeah! And youuu’ve neverhadablowjob.” he said it all like it was one word and waggled his eyebrows smugly.

“What?” They shook their head as if to dispel confusion, certainly hearing it wrong.

“Never had a blowjob!” Mako said again, singsongy this time but still rushing through the phrase and waggling his eyebrows.

Cass blinked back.

“Oh my god Cass c’mon dude. Look its not scary I’m a human seeeee-“ his word continued to draw out as he opened his mouth wide and moved his tongue around to show off how not-scary and totally cool his teeth were. Cass looked lost in thought while peering into Mako’s mouth. Their eyes moved back to Mako’s face with trepidation, their mouth hung open slightly.

“You really wanna give me a blowjob?” They ventured cautiously.

Mako absolutely beamed at Cass’  
not-immediate-denial of his proposal. He sped on through his words, eyes shining and heart racing. “Ohmygod yes itd be so much fun ‘cause like I said its basically just first base and friends kiss all the time! Y’know huffing bone and all. Its not a big deal and also not to brag but Im really, really good and since it would be your first it’d be li-“ Cass stopped him with an outstretched webbed finger to signal silence.

“Yes” was their simple answer and Mako jumped for joy, wine forgotten despite its lingering effects on both. Cass was more loose and Mako was somehow more talkative, and that was a potent combination for the two of them it seemed as Mako sunk to his knees in seconds. His hands were at Cass’ fly before Cass flung out their hands in front of them. “Woah there, slow down Mako.” He frowned up at Cass with a pouty “whyyyy” and puppy dog eyes. 

They glanced around at the dining room of the Kingdom Come. “I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to think about blowjobs every time I try to eat a meal here. How about my room?” They offered, hooking a thumb over their shoulder to point at the door and Mako jumped up again. He’d never been inside of Cass’ room before, just seen it from the hall, and long ago, from security cams that had been covered up soon after they all moved in and made the rooms their own.

They abandoned the dining room and moments later they found themselves adjacent to Cass’ bed. Cass shucked their pants down and Mako stared with a lack of focus that only Mako Trigg could muster. The room was big and nice and pretty and blue and the carpet looked soft and their sheets looked- oh and Cass didn’t have boxers on anymore and wh-? Oh? That was interesting. Cass’ blue scales were interrupted mid way below where their belly button would be to the bottom of their crotch in the vertical line of a pink, fleshy slit. It was thin, so much so that if not for the contrast of color it would scarcely be noticed at all, but that soft pink and the slick that seeped out told Mako all he needed to know. His jaw was wide and he wiped at his mouth to make sure he wasn’t drooling in awe. Aliens, man, he thought to himself.

“You wanna lay down for me?” Mako asked, forcing his tone light. This was a friend thing he was doing. Gotta stay fun and friendly, no sexy talk, no flirty talk, he coached himself internally. Either way, Cass obliged casually, shrugging out of their top too before lying down on the bed, relaxing with their hands behind their head propped up on a pillow to watch. Mako... observed Cass’ reclined form. They were comprised nearly entirely of soft blue scales, tiny enough that only careful observation revealed that it wasn’t just human-type skin, but beautiful enough that they glimmered in even the dim lights of the room. There were scars littered across their skin, some cuts, some bullet wounds, and others that didn’t make their origin known. Their expression was calm and collected, watching Mako watch them. Totally not staring. Shit. Mako mentally shook himself out of it. He moved into action while taking in the twitching of Cassander’s ear fins and the lazy gaze of their yellow eyes. God. 

Mako lowered himself to be face level with Cass’... vagina? He wasn’t sure. It kinda looked like one so he figured he should treat it like one. He shot a final questioning glance up at Cass along with a “you good?” and was met with an affirmative, so he got to it. One hand planted on either thigh, he stuck his tongue out and slowly licked a stripe from the bottom to the top of the slit. Cass shivered. The line of pink flesh pulsed and seemed to open itself up a little bit. Mako continued, this time dragging his tongue along either side of the slit, then placing a kiss at the bottom of it. This earned him a gasp from Cass which emboldened him to take another pass. He kept linking stripes along the length. There wasn’t a clit or anything to play with but Cass was having a good time so fuck it. Mako pressed his whole mouth flat and open along the length of the genital slit and laved, back and forth and swirling around, all combined with some light suction. This earned more gasps and now moans from above along with squirming and some involuntary thrusting of their hips into Mako’s mouth.

Mako popped off with a wet face and a big smirk. “Good?” He asked with clear pride at already reducing Cass down to thrusting into the air after mere minutes. Cass simply nodded back, breathing heavily through their open mouth.

Mako wiped some of the slick off of his face onto the sheets and dipped straight back in. He let his hands massage Cass’ muscled thighs as he licked into Cass, tongue moving ever so slightly into their hole. They moaned into the empty air, but every time Mako gazed up their body their eyes were still open, still watching Mako do his work. Fuck. His cock twitched inside his jeans and he forced himself to ignore it.

Mako massaged his thumbs into the soft flesh of the junction between Cass’ crotch and their legs and they exhaled a breathy sigh, eyes fluttering closed for a moment before startling back open with a cry as Mako plunged his tongue deep into Cass’ depths. He was flush with Cass’ slit, tongue buried as deep as it could go and nose pressed firmly to scale. Cass was gasping above him, hands fisting in the sheets and Mako hummed, pleased. He pulled out some and slowly pushed back in, eyes locked on Cass’ face to drink in every expression that passed over their beautiful scales. In his distraction, Cass’ legs wrapping around Mako’s back came as a surprise. Cass locked their ankles and pulled Mako deeper into them while thrusting into his mouth, and Mako could do nothing but moan uselessly into Cass as his cock was dragged into the bed with delicious friction. He began thrusting and eating into Cass with the desperation of a starving man, tongue wriggling and lapping to release wild moans from Cass above, who was now thrusting wildly into Mako’s mouth to meet the pace of his tongue.

“Fuck!” cried Cass, biting their lip to keep themselves from screaming. They didn’t want to come yet but Mako had other ideas, hot and wet tongue fucking into them so well. This form of pleasure was so different from normal sex it was like their first time all over again. Mako quirked his tongue just right, then sucked and that was all it took. Cass released their lip and screamed, nails scrambling for hold in sheets that they would much rather find in hair, and their legs tightening to a vice around Mako. Fluids burst from the top of Cass’ slit as they came, and Mako moaned as they coated his face in their essence. He worked Cass through their orgasm and lapped at the sticky fluid after, drowning in hormones that made his dick that much harder trapped beneath his stomach.

Cass panted and stared at Mako with a lustrous gaze, black pupils blown wide to the extent that the yellow sclera was a mere afterthought. Mako was enraptured by those half-lidded eyes and stayed still until they would will him otherwise. They stayed like that, silent and staring into each other until Cass had calmed enough to speak again.

“Wow.” They cleared their throat and pushed themselves up some on the headboard. “I uh. I’ve never come without being taken out of my sheath before. That was incre-“

“SHEATH?!” Mako cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Not to be needy but one comment and I will write the second chapter where Mako gets skooled in apostolisian biology. And actually sucks Cass off.
> 
> Wow first time I’ve written outside of required stuff. Cool.


End file.
